On Overcoming Jealousy

I was angry. No reason to be angry. I have the life I have dreamed of (with a couple tweaks of course). But there was nothing that made me happy continually. I would have an “UP” day followed by 6 other grey days. FRUSTRATED!? Am I bi-polar? Do I need medication?

 photo credit

Trying to figure out happiness has been hard. From dealing with depression as a teen and seeing the effects of bi-polar on my mother I was wondering if I too was destined for medication. I tried other things to beat the blues. Vitamin D, exercise, more vitamin D. I thought about giving up coffee to see if that made me cranky...But I quickly dismissed that thought because I knew I wasn't strong enough for that. Anything better yet? Nope.

There were several realizations lately however that have me feeling more balanced. I realized that in a lot of ways I was jealous of people. And that really just brought me down. For a while I hated Facebook because it made me upset. I would see the fun and wonderful things my friends were doing and low and behold I wasn't invited or seeing the lives of others through pictures just made me long for something better than what I had. Therefore I almost refused to use Facebook even to promote my business.

Instead of being jealous about people why not just be happy for them?

Browsing successful shops on Etsy made me jealous. Allthenumbers made me jealous because of her success and I mean how cute is she? 1Crown3Tiaras made me jealous because of her success and cute clothes. But look at her profile picture, I am sure we would get along. This jealousy had to stop.

-A calm heart is the life of a fleshly organism, but jealousy is rottenness to the bones.- The Bible, Best Seller

I read the Happiness Magazine from Real Simple and really took to heart the already known adage that “Things don't make us happy.” I know this. I tell my daughter that all the time. But it is another thing to be happy for other people because of the things they have.  Money, skills, a gourmet cook husband, better car, cuter kids (deranged thinking), a house, fun parties. 

BE HAPPY FOR THEM AND EMBRACE ALL THE GOODNESS THAT YOU ARE SURROUNDED WITH IN YOUR LIFE.

Lessons I have learned:

• Don't be jealous of others. Be happy for them. Celebrate with them. They will be there for you too to celebrate when its time.

• Don't put energy into things or people that constantly disappoint you. (Another realization.)

• You can learn to control negative thinking patterns and embrace the loved ones that are right in your home/life.

I can say for several weeks now I have felt at peace. I enjoy my life. I do things that make me happy and I embrace all the little things that just make life wonderful. Like Starbucks new infused cinnamon coffee. Because I am trying to become a better, wiser person I have had happiness wake up with me in the morning and it feels good.

Why I Have/NEED a Handmade Business - Part IV

Ok this is the last and final part of why I have/NEED a handmade business.  I now realize that I should have named this series 4 REASONS...blah blah blah.  But I think you stay at home moms or stay at home mom dreamers will benefit from this.

A FACT:
IT IS A BIG ADJUSTMENT TO BE A STAY AT HOME MOM.

It is hard.  It is a hard adjustment but it can be made.  It is a different hard than working out side the home.  Some challenges that I found was going from a routine to a complete lack of structure.  How can that be so hard? It is easy to all of the sudden feel worthless, useless and unproductive.  This leads to sluggishness and depression.  Oh and you aren't bringing home a check anymore...

Being home everyday is a challenge. You can only clean your house so much before you go batty. You must give yourself goals and make structure out of your freedom.  You can take the skills you have learned from the work field and make them your own standards for your business. 

I found out very quickly that I needed my business more than ever.  It is an outlet and a way to feel more constructive.  Especially when you start to see a profit from it.  It is such a blessing.

As women (I think most) want to be profuctive. Useful. Happy.

There are FOUR reasons why I NEED my biz.  I need my baby, I need income, I need good clothing, I need a constructive outlet.

I NEED my handmade business therefore I HAVE a handmade business.
(photo credit)

Little Effort, Big Business Results

Do you know that hesitation feeling you get when you are going to have a garage sale and you are doing all this work to get it ready and you wonder...what if no one comes?  Or what if no one wants my stuff?  And then at the end of the day you have a couple hundred bucks in your pocket... YOU did that!  You put your self out there and people responded.  Maybe you posted an add on Craigslist or you just stapled up a couple signs around town.  And people came, they bought, and you conquered.

The same thing amazes me with the things that I have been up to lately.  Like having a handmade clothing business.  Really? 157 sales and wholesale accounts?  Really?  In reality it seemed like little effort and people have responded to my taste and my spin on little girls clothes.

There was another venture I made recently that really made me think about this public response.  I make wrist pin cushions.  I don't have them online yet and really want to get there. (please kick me in the hiney and tell me to get going on this.)  But I made up a batch of them went to Sisters, OR.  To The Stichin' Post. Owned by Valori and Jean Wells, fabric designer and quilters.  I talked to the manager there. She looked at my pin cushions and asked to keep one to show Jean. I also had a very simple line sheet of prices.  That same day I got an email for an order of 72 pin cushions!  I was thinking 20...Nope 72, right on!

Then I made another stop at another quilt shop in Bend, OR. "We would like 48."  They said!  Are you kidding me!?  Ok little to no effort.  No special marketing, just a little stopping by and wabam! 120 sales!

With little preparation you can really get results.  I mean lets get down to some of the effort involved.  You should have a business card, some prices on a paper (hopefully printed from the computer and your logo and contact info) and dressed properly.  When you put yourself out there, people respond.

Just like a garage sale, just like PerryFinalia, just like wrist pin cushions. 

Are you wanting to offer something to the public and something is holding you back?  What is it?

Why I Have/NEED a Handmade Business - Part I

I don't know how moms do it.  I don't know how they have the determination to hold the title mom and work full time.  Hats off to you.  Being a SAHM or a WAHM definitely is challenging and a different kind of work that shouldn't be looked at as less that is for sure.  But I know that I could not work full time, outside the house.  Shoot I couldn't even do it part time.

The economy changed. I am sure you were there too.  Life was not ideal.  With a six month old baby, my husband was laid off.  I was working 4 days a week and wasn't willing to do 5 and lose another day with my baby.  The part that really wasn't ideal and really hard on the brain is that I was working while hubby stayed home with baby.  I am the mom!  I want to be taken care of and I want to take care of MY BABY!  We had to do something.

Then there was a day that it all came together.  All the signs were there.  I was out of town at a work meeting.  A whole day I wouldn't see my baby.  She was asleep when I left and would be sleeping when I got home.  I was not happy about this.  We were engaged in a 1980's Zig Ziglar video about making goals.  The old man - televangelist for business topics had it right, we need to have goals to be happy in life.  I knew then that my goal was not to ever come to this meeting room again and not to be working for this company.

But what could I do?  On the way home from the meeting I went over the numbers.  Could we do it?  It involved moving back to our home town (Free Rent) and surviving off our remaining unemployment til hubby found work.  We could do it!  Hubby said yes...30 day notice.

What I learned from this is that living the dream isn't always dreamy.  It is a challenge to be at home and to take care of a child, and oh yeah, run a business that you want to be successful.  Not a glorified hobby.  But it also made me realize that we are in control of our lives and we CAN make changes if we see they need to be made.  Maybe the road we thought we wanted to be on turns out to be wrong.  Make a new road if you can, realizing that everything has its ups and downs.


photo credit for zig ziglar

It Was Beautiful and They Didn't Come

I knew that I would learn alot from my first trunk show/ craft show/ bazaar and have insight to share.  First of all, it was a great day!  We ended up being outside when we requested to be inside.  Thank goodness a friend we knew had a tent for us to use!  The wind would kick up every now and then and blow a dress off its hanger or knock down a picture frame...only one broke.

But besides that it was a beautiful booth.  No matter how the day turned out I was so proud of how it all came together.  With the help of my good friend Carlie G. and her hubby it looked great.  See!

It was beautiful and they didn't come!  It was a slow show.  Hind sight is 20/20 however.  It was the first year for this event so no one really knew about it.  It wasn't in a high traffic place.  Like downtown or on a busy roadway so if someone didn't know it was happening they wouldn't have happened upon us.  However from my 4 sales that day, 3 were from friends that I had emailed.  (THANK YOU SO MUCH!) And another was from a wonderful customer that the plaid reversible dress was just adorable on her little girl.  Having her try it on there and me seeing my work on her in person I think really made my day.

Carlie G. debuted her baby quilts.  They are so adorable!  She has great taste in fabrics and pairing different patterns.  They are so refreshing and wonderful.  A lot of  lookers but if it were the right event and more people period I know she would have had sales.

All in all it was a great day.  It ended on a positive note of jack and coke and hula hoop contest.  I was able to trade a pincushion for a couple monsters from Monster Love.  Carlie G. found a bag she liked that featured the Bend, OR logo (her home town for life) so when she was away I was able to get it for her. (Score! A gift for a hard to buy friend.)  And I bought a ring from the girl next door that had me written all over it.  However listing these 3 things I bought is another lesson to be learned...where is there card that tells me how to get to their shop...?  More on this later....