Depression, Me-Session

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After reading about Tara from Scoutie Girl's bouts of depression and putting it out there for the world to see inspired me to add my bit.  First of all, its so nice to know that I am not alone in constantly fighting depression.  I am thankful to be medication free and fairly stable at the moment. (As I just cried to my husband, that all my friendships have gone to pot. That's another story.) 

It all started when I was 17.  Long story short, what was involved in my sleeping the day away, eating til the cows came home and crying everyday, was an ended relationship, being rejected by another beau, gaining 25 pounds, working FULL TIME!  Two times that I have worked full time, I have had to be on antidepressants.  Do you think maybe I didn't want to work for someone and didn't really care about that corporate ladder and the back stabbing that is involved in the office world?  It took me a little while to realize this.  But this realization has been amazing.

Before my realization, I went off my antidepressants when I found out I was pregnant and did really well my whole pregnancy and even after giving birth to my daughter.  Being very aware of postpartum depression and my past with depression I was determined.  But after a while I was back to work 4 days a week and having a really hard time.  I wanted to be with my baby.

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A few things happened that lead me to conclude that it was time to move to the coast where we could live rent free and we could afford for me to stay home and.........start my own business!  Now it wasn't and hasn't been happily ever after.  At first I would get so sad and so irritated when things weren't selling in my shop.  It was bad, it affected the way I treated my family.  I have learned to let it go... And then my grandparents died in November '09, the weather changed to winter, and the time change had me all messed up.  I didn't exercise for a whole month and let me tell you my friend was a little concerned about me.  Did I need medication?

Nope!  I didn't need medication!  I found others that had a hard time being a SAHM/WAHM.  But then it got better.  I made a schedule, I joined a gym and I put my priorities in order.  My faith, my family, myself, my business.  No I won't be a perfect mom and no I won't have everything all the time...but living the dream isn't always dreamy, but realizing I am in the dream, makes me happy and try harder to be the best person I can be.

(BTW I love exercising to Jillian Michaels' Hot Bod in a Box, but that's another story)